LOS ANGELES, CA — Demanding an apology, Sacha Baron Cohen admitted to being duped in an interview by a shadowy figure that turned out to be none other than himself. “I thought I was doing an interview with an industry professional about my life and comedy career only to realize later I’d been tricked by none […]
LOS ANGELES, CA — Unable to live a life unaccompanied, a recently canceled television show desperately shacked up with the first willing network, vowing to do anything it takes to make things happen like the disgusting little streetwalker that it is. “I’ve never seen a canceled show turn tricks this quick before,” said entertainment expert, Phil Rosenstein. “As […]
SAN BRUNO, CALIFORNIA — Surging its way to the top of Youtube’s chart is the newest teen challenge of drinking pure, unfiltered tap water straight from the faucet. One Youtuber in particular, known simply as AcidFartz69, has garnered more than 3 million views in a mere 24 hours from his latest upload, showcasing the young teenager […]
NEW YORK CITY — Declaring this to be the start of a new era, Comedy Central has removed the long-standing statue of the once popular Carlos Mencia. “While we recognize our rich comedic history, we must also be held accountable for the mistakes we have made along the way,” said Comedy Central President Ross Neumann. […]
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY — Unified Airlines attempted an apology for what seems to be just another example of the airlines trying to correct an oversold flight as a passenger was forcibly removed from his seat and strapped to the roof of the plane for the duration of the flight. “We reserve the right to strap any of our […]
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Examining the after effects of life’s permanent departure, a study released this Monday confirmed that the majority of dead people wished they had not. “Our analysis has determined that a staggering 9 out of 10 deceased individuals ranging from young to old and rich to poor had experienced a longing to continue existing,” said study […]
AKRON, OHIO — What was once an abandoned and dilapidated teenage funhouse containing decades worth of carnal fluids is now someone’s possible dream home. The 3 bed, 2 bed remodel comes with brand new stainless appliances, the original oak hard-wood floors, and a booklet detailing the home’s history. Given the home’s rich history, the remodel was given delicate thought by […]
WASHINGTON D.C. — New security measures were put in place after accusations over the weekend that former President Obama has been tapping Mr. Trump’s phone lines. “Effective immediately, all White House employees will be issued a signal blocking helmet, anti-bug tapping booties, and a bottle of hand sanitizer to kill the microscopic spies that live […]
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Shock and awe as audience members at The Politician’s Choice Awards had to bear witness to a painful Oscar acceptance speech. “Wow! I’m in shock right now. Growing up, I used to lie in bed and dream about this moment. I don’t even have words for this.” said the winner pulling out a […]
HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT — Coming together since their most recent spat, Silvia and Cody McIver have decided to stay together for the good of their parents. “It’s no secret that Silvia and I haven’t been happy for a long time now. However, we think that us splitting up would only do irrevocable damage to our parents fragile […]