MILWAUKEE, WI — On Saturday Phil Cutter was found dead in his studio apartment. An autopsy determined that Mr. Cutter died of a lethal dose of Trump news stories. Unfortunately, these overdoses aren’t solely limited to media stories with President Trump. Similar effects have been reported to those in his cabinet. Last Thursday, an entire […]
Los Angeles, CA — Earlier this morning, long time dog owner Ted Kotlet was locked and left in his car while his Jack Russell Terrier, Terry, made his way into Pets Mart. Ted was left in his car on a hot 98 Degree Los Angeles Day with not even a window cracked while his dog enjoyed the […]
Washington D.C. — A vote was completed on capital hill this morning at 9AM central time to approve five songs that United States citizens are legally not allow to sit down during. Given the recent backlash that Colin Kaepernick has received, the government has taken it upon themselves to clear up any confusion and has created a […]