MILWAUKEE, WI — On Saturday Phil Cutter was found dead in his studio apartment. An autopsy determined that Mr. Cutter died of a lethal dose of Trump news stories. Unfortunately, these overdoses aren’t solely limited to media stories with President Trump. Similar effects have been reported to those in his cabinet. Last Thursday, an entire family overdosed after watching a CNN marathon featuring an interview with an incoherent Kellyanne Conway.
Any viewing over 2 minutes has been known to cause severe anger, convulsions, instant diarrhea, and even death.
Doctors are urging people to limit their viewing of Trump news stories to under 2 minutes. Any viewing over 2 minutes has been known to cause severe anger, convulsions, instant diarrhea, and even death. The surgeon general has issued a statement saying that “Any news stories surrounding President Trump will now have to accompanied by a warning stating that death can occur.”
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