Capital Investment Firm Is Lousy with "It’s The Uber For" Pitch Meetings

ATLANTA, GA — Empire Capital Firm is positioning themselves to be the nation’s leading investor in “Uber-Esque” businesses. “We have seen ten ‘It’s like Uber but for Colonics” this week alone”, explained CEO Trey Ubanks. “The key now is understanding strategy and choosing which start-up can actually deliver a water based butt release wherever a customer is located.”

“It’s like Uber but for Colonics”

With the millennial economy being mostly based on convenience, Empire’s unique strategy could result in major profit returns in the 2020’s. Now if they can just get your weirdo aunt to use technology they will be well on their way.

Pitch Meeting, Uber