Man Retires To Fulfill Lifelong Dream Of Finding Things To Do Around The House

Man Retires To Fulfill Lifelong Dream Of Finding Things To Do Around The House

Cincinnati, OH — Racking his brain for something he may have forgotten, recently retired Walter Henderson aimlessly wanders his house looking for something, anything to do.  Three weeks ago, Henderson, a 31-year veteran of the work force, decided to give it all up and focus on his long forgotten dream of finding something to do around the […]

Office Gossip Queen Deems People Working From Home Unproductive

Office Gossip Queen Deems People Working From Home Unproductive

Atlanta, GA — There’s been a shift in the workplace recently, lots of companies are allowing employees to work from home.  But office gossip queen Emily Cooper thinks people working from home could be unproductive.  “I just think you have to be at work to be working,” said Emily. Kyle Price has been a co-worker of […]

Study: Crying In Public Seen As Weakness

Study: Crying In Public Seen As Weakness

San Francisco, CA — Making everyone around him extremely uncomfortable, Brian Stroman, only 3 months on the job sits in the middle of a busy workplace meeting quietly sobbing.  “Oh Christ, he’s doing it again,” replied his fellow co-worker, Shannon Lewis.  When asked about the frequency she replied, “It seems like it’s every other day now. Nobody […]

Quiet Employee Shits Like An Animal In Workplace Stall

Quiet Employee Shits Like An Animal In Workplace Stall

IOWA CITY, IA — Eric Collins has been a co-worker of the culprit for a little over two years now. He’s referred to as El Dorado around the office. “I just never thought he was capable of something like this. He’s a real polite guy, shows up on time everyday, the kinda guy that holds the […]

Woman’s Nightmares Resemble Her Real Life

Woman’s Nightmares Resemble Her Real Life

New York, New York — Sweating from what has been yet another night of never ending terror, 27 year-old Ashley Lawson never seems to catch a break as her actual life and nightly terror sessions appear to be one in the same.  “A few nights ago, I had this horrible dream that I was living in a […]

Sibling Preps For Hate Filled Speech At Thanksgiving Dinner

Sibling Preps For Hate Filled Speech At Thanksgiving Dinner

Lexington, KY — Twenty-two year old Scott Miller has a lot of weight on his shoulders lately, the mounting pressures at work, navigating the increasingly crazy dating world, but nothing is more important for Scott Miller than his annual hate filled speech during the holiday weekend. “I honestly can’t wait. There’s a lot of pressure […]

Mom Learns To Paint Eyebrows From Watching Bob Ross

Mom Learns To Paint Eyebrows From Watching Bob Ross

Scottsdale, AZ — Topping her eyebrows off to a photo finish, Barbara Fogelberg proudly showed off her newly painted eyebrows.  As Barb’s eyebrows disappeared her dream of painting grew stronger.  A dream that would end up being fulfilled after watching multiple episodes of Bob Ross’s The Joy of Painting.  We salute you Barb, you’ve done it!

Diversity?: White People Give Birth To White Baby

Diversity?: White People Give Birth To White Baby

  Minneapolis, MN — As we cross the half-way point of 2016 it appears that the very public outcry to diversify throughout the United States has apparently fallen on deaf ears as John and Karen Shepherd (both caucasian) have given birth to a white baby. “Here we go again, white parents…white baby. The system is rigged man!” […]