“How To Ruin The World” a short poem By Stephen Bannon

“How To Ruin The World” a short poem By Stephen Bannon

WASHINGTON D.C. — In the back corner of Cookies coffee shop, Steve Bannon quietly stood in front of a a group of no more than 7 guests where he read one of his many short poems. “How to Ruin the World” I’m in the White House, that’s step number one. Boy oh boy, this is sure gonna be […]

Donald Trump’s Next Presidential Speech Inspired by Hans Gruber

Donald Trump’s Next Presidential Speech Inspired by Hans Gruber

Washington D.C. — After reciting a number of quotes from DC Comics super villain Bane during his inauguration address, Mr. Trump has decides that his next Presidential speech will echo sentiments of Die Hard’s main villain, Hans Gruber. “Hans was great, he was a great guy, he was gonna do great things,” said Trump. The newly […]

Trump Appoints KKK In Charge of Adopt-A-Highway Program

Trump Appoints KKK In Charge of Adopt-A-Highway Program

BIRMINGHAM, AL — Mile Marker 283 has never been in better shape thanks to our good friends at the Ku Klux Klan. “I got one hell of a crew here,” said local Grand Wizard David Harris. His group is well organized and can be ready at a moment’s notice. They are extremely passionate and always see […]

Wrigleyville Bars Embrace Cubs World Series By Charging $100 Cover

Wrigleyville Bars Embrace Cubs World Series By Charging $100 Cover

Chicago, IL — The price of baseball just went up in the popular Chicago neighborhood Wrigleyville. Many of the bars have decided to reward customers for their years of business by only charging a $100 cover to watch the Cubs play in the World Series.  Old Style’s have also jumped in price this week to an […]

Roger Goodell Demands 117% of Bar & Restaurant Revenue on Sundays

Roger Goodell Demands 117% of Bar & Restaurant Revenue on Sundays

New York, NY — Mark Davies, owner of Wings N’ Things, has been in business for twelve years, but the price of business just went up. The National Football League now demands 117% of bar and restaurant revenue on game days. “Sundays are usually our bread and butter,” said Mark. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is […]

Roger Goodell Releases Tom Brady From Tiny Snow Globe Above His Fireplace

Roger Goodell Releases Tom Brady From Tiny Snow Globe Above His Fireplace

New York, NY — The NFL Commissioner recently spent $645 million dollars on creating a shrinking device that only recognizes Tom Brady’s DNA.  Tom served his four game suspension under the commissioner’s close supervision above his fireplace. “Tom can be a real menace sometimes,” said Goodell.  “This way I can look out for the league’s best […]

Gotham Found To Be Decent If You Have Basic Cable

Gotham Found To Be Decent If You Have Basic Cable

Kansas City, MO — The just-average TV show Gotham returned with an all right episode. The show is found to be semi-decent if you don’t have a lot of options. Tyler Parks, who got rid of his premium cable package just two weeks ago, catches an episode every now and then.  “I’ve only got like […]