LOGAN, NEW MEXICO — The unexpected arrival of extra terrestrials shocked the nation today as millions watched in anticipation as one of the extra terrestrials approached the podium and attempted to convey the first-ever message towards earthlings. Unfortunately, his message was quickly interrupted by President-elect Trump saying, “Excuse me, excuse me, you’re being very rude right now—very rude. These aliens have no class, no class.” The aliens did everything they could to ignore Mr. Trump’s comments as he then began berating their physical appearance. “Look at them, no clothes, completely naked—barbaric! Why don’t you go to another planet where somebody actually cares,” said Mr. Trump.
“Look at them, no clothes, completely naked—barbaric! Why don’t you go to another planet where somebody actually cares.”
After enduring a solid fifteen minutes of bullying from Mr. Trump, the aliens shot a bright neon liquid from their finger tips, which is believed to be their form of the middle finger, at Donald Trump’s eyeballs causing him to convulse wildly and defecate uncontrollably in his trousers. The extra terrestrials quickly sought refuge in their ship and vanished into the sky leaving Americans with yet another sad “what could have been” moment under the soon-to-be presidency of Mr. Trump.