Man With Two Monitors Doing Jack Shit

CANTON, OH — Observed through the wandering eyes of his trusted co-workers, Nick Harrington of accounts receivable briefly dozes off behind the incandescent glow of his not one but two “much needed” computer monitors.  “That mother fucker,” murmured one of his co-workers.  “Every morning, he comes in, turns on both his monitors and doesn’t do jack shit for the rest of the day.”  According to those around him, Nick spends his days casually scrolling through Facebook.

“Every morning, he comes in, turns on both his monitors and doesn’t do jack shit for the rest of the day.”

Sources confirm that Nick fought tooth and nail to get that second monitor.  Company records show that Harrington wrote eleven emails and placed seven phone calls to HR over the course of six months in order to make things finally happen.  While bitterness and resentment grow over what many see as an abuse of power, Harrington appears unaffected as he clicks away at what appears to be nothing at all.