Man Overdoses On Trump News

MILWAUKEE, WI — On Saturday Phil Cutter was found dead in his studio apartment.  An autopsy determined that Mr. Cutter died of a lethal dose of Trump news stories.  Unfortunately, these overdoses aren’t solely limited to media stories with President Trump. Similar effects have been reported to those in his cabinet.  Last Thursday, an entire family overdosed after watching a CNN marathon featuring an interview with an incoherent  Kellyanne Conway.

Any viewing over 2 minutes has been known to cause severe anger, convulsions, instant diarrhea, and even death.

Doctors are urging people to limit their viewing of Trump news stories to under 2 minutes.  Any viewing over 2 minutes has been known to cause severe anger, convulsions, instant diarrhea, and even death. The surgeon general has issued a statement saying that “Any news stories surrounding President Trump will now have to accompanied by a warning stating that death can occur.”

  overdose, Trump

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Nick Cutelli

Nick Cutelli is a Chicago native and has mastered the art of shaving ones back. While he's not doing that, he works as an actor/writer in Los Angeles California. Nick has his Bachelors of Fine Arts from S.E. Missouri State University and is a graduated of the Second City Chicago Improv conservatory and music conservatory. He regularly performs at the IO West and Second City Hollywood. If you need good back shaving tips you should contact him.

Latest posts by Nick Cutelli (see all)

• Man Overdoses On Trump News - February 22, 2017
• Dog Leaves Man Behind In Hot Car - October 6, 2016
• Government Approves Five Songs You Can’t Sit Down During - September 7, 2016