“Hillary Clinton? She’s Been Dead For 13 Years” Says Longtime Neighbor

Chappaqua, New York — Racking his brain about the last time he saw Hillary Clinton, Stan Dunhill, the longtime neighbor of The Clintons spoke to the media saying, “Hillary Clinton? I haven’t heard that name in a long while. Why…she’s been dead for 13 years.”  While the media has been scrambling to find more information about Mrs. Clinton’s health, it appears that Mrs. Clinton is not sick—she has long-been deceased.

“Some folks say you can still hear her going door-to-door handing out pamphlets in the middle of the night.”

Mr. Dunhill proceeded to elaborate on her death, “As a matter of fact it was on a night just like tonight–I’ll never forget it.  The fog was thick and if I recall the roads were slick as ice. Rumor has it that she’d pulled an all-nighter delivering text books to underprivileged children in the early morning hours.  That’s when she decided that she might as well drive those children to school while she’s at it. Well…they never made it to school.  She crashed into a telephone pole.  By the time the ambulance got there, it was too late, it was an absolute bloodbath.  One girl survived, she lives up on the hill, she hasn’t spoken a single word since the crash.”

While it appears that Mrs. Clinton is long gone, a few people in town feel that her spirit lives on,  “Some folks say you can still hear her going door-to-door handing out pamphlets in the middle of the night…as well as the children screaming.”

  Hillary Clinton, Hillary ghost, Hillary health