Felicity Huffman Frantically Eats Daughter’s Real SAT Score During FBI Probe

LOS ANGELES, CA — After hours of insisting that her daughter’s real SAT scores have gone missing, Felicity Huffman desperately began shoving in and eating what appeared to be her daughter’s actual SAT scores as FBI agents struggled to pry open her mouth.  “It’s a cupcake. I’m just eating a cupcake,” Ms. Huffman garbled as investigators tackled her, recovering only mere fragments of paper from her gullet.

“It’s a cupcake. I’m just eating a cupcake!”

“Y’all ain’t got nothin’ on me,” she screamed.  When pushed Ms. Huffman repeated earlier claims of ignorance, “My daughter’s SAT scores have been missing for months. Nobody knows where they are. But I can tell you they are high– very high. Also, what is so hard to understand– that my daughter is very smart or that she is also an All-Pro linebacker?”