Ed Asner Sets Unrealistic Standard Of Beauty For Men

Los Angeles — Coasting around the Hollywood like the cats-pajamas, Ed Asner proudly flaunts his devilishly good looks to those around him.  For years, rumors have swirled that Asner’s larger-than-life ears and nose are a product of plastic surgery.  A hollywood insider close to Mr. Asner claims “His nose and ears are 100% real. I promise you.”

“I think that Mr. Asner has set an unrealistic and dangerous standard of beauty for all men.”

Critics argue that one’s nose cannot reach a size like Mr. Asners without going under the knife.  Plastic Surgeon to the stars, Henry Cromwell, spoke with us regarding Mr. Asner’s features, “His nose is definitely fake and the ears have had work done—no doubt about it.”  While some believe Mr. Asner’s looks are simply a point of jealousy among men, others including Dr. Cromwell feel that his looks are unfair and dangerous, “I think that Mr. Asner has set an unrealistic and dangerous standard of beauty for all men. More men are going under the knife than ever before and I think it’s setting us down the wrong path of making huge noses and massive ears the new normal.”  While Mr. Asner refuses to acknowledge any modifications he has done to his face, it’s up to men everywhere to judge for themselves.