LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY — Unified Airlines attempted an apology for what seems to be just another example of the airlines trying to correct an oversold flight as a passenger was forcibly removed from his seat and strapped to the roof of the plane for the duration of the flight. “We reserve the right to strap any of our passengers to the wings, underbelly, or roof of the plane under any given circumstance. Nevertheless, we are sorry,” said Unified Airlines Vice President Mike Gottard, adding that the passenger was strapped on safely and securely.
“We reserve the right to strap any of our passengers to the wings, underbelly, or roof of the plane under any circumstance. Nevertheless, we are sorry,”
Unified Airlines is no stranger to controversy. Just last year they came under fire for various wrong doings such as: randomly taking away seat belts, removing passengers mid-flight, and forcing passengers to use mandatory catheters in lieu of bathrooms. “While we are not perfect, we strive to be. That is why we are issuing a $50 voucher to the passenger affected,” said Gottard proudly. While the airline is not expected to strap anyone other passengers to a plane’s exterior anytime soon, it’s certainly a possibility.
Airline Apologizes For Strapping Man To Roof Of Plane Due To Oversold Flight added by Ben Dungan on
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I fly Unified Airlines every chance I get. The service is second to none and the views are out of this world!
RIP out all seats. Passengers seated on floor. Or prone and stack them to ceiling. Passengers are sheep these days. Who can only whip out their phones.
It wasn’t ‘United’ was it hehe
The best satire I have ever read. Sadly too close to reality!
Bringing new meaning to “Get ON the plane”
What a joke. Guess you would do anything for publicity. I hope people really don’t believe this is impossible in many ways.
I can empathize. They made me sit in a seat where the guy in front of me would crush my legs.
It first I thought this was just a joke, but after I had the photo blown up at the U of Minnesota , we believe the picture and the photo is real, with just the airlines name air brushed out.
This outside delivery should be reserved for women having hot flashes as the temperature will be just right for them with added feature of getting a sun tan at the same time.
Fly Delta, Which means Don’t Even Let Them Aboard. .!
Jees sometimes I don’t know whether its a joke or the truth.. lol..
Was he able to get drinks up there?
And you thought ROMNEY was heartless…..
This is past hilarious, right down to the fictional airline name! But…if you believed in obummer, or that tv wrestling is real, then you can take this and run with it!
This has to be a belated April Fool’s joke!
is this first class
They could have offered him “on flight” peanuts”.
Oh yes, we’re sorry that your luggage was lost.
That is stupid u should never do that to anybody. Unified airlines should b sued for that
Looks like the problem was solved. I mean, after all, Louisville is such hot destination.
Brilliant!! I wonder..if they’re NOT listening..
Yeah right! Lol!
$$50.00 Are you kidding me ? I would be flying FREE whenever I boarded one of their flights until I never flew with them again. That is outrageous.
In fact United Air Lines has a whole, henceforth undermentioned Bondage Class, where for a resonable fee they will bundle you up in the cargo hold complete with complimentary ball-gag and leg restraints.
OMG- you are brilliant!
Outrageous! Did he get a free meal?
For the record, airlines only strap passengers to the wings when there is an even number of overbookings. This is, of course, to maintain weight balance.
TOOOO DARNN FUNNY
lmao
next thing you know, they will be making use of the spare engine pylon to put a couple of spare seats on.
Becasue of the exposure to the wind and possibly rain, I would expect at least $75 compensation !
Very funny??????
I hope they gave him an oxygen mask if they were flying at an altitude that he would have had trouble breathing in. But I guess they would have charged him extra for that.
I rather have taken the $800 in cash, but then again I bet he had some wonderful views.
Oh give me a break…..!!!!!!
No you didn’t! LMAO
Romney Air. Not just for dogs.
Lmao what a great spoof.
Did they at least dress the passenger in warm clothes? It can get pretty cold at 40,000 ft!!!!! I know because I get cold up there and I’m inside the plane!!!!
I know I won’t be flying Unified Airlines!!!!!
That’s disgusting that they only gave me a $50 voucher!
Oh i smell lawsuit
BWAHAHAHA!! 😀
They should be fined heavily:They charge enough for tickets! It seems. Passengers are losing more and more rights! If I was on the regulations BD. For every major screw up like this I would make them ground all flights for a day! These are people not animals!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your most informative news article and have a question. My husband and I are planning a trip to Hawaii in May and we are wondering which one of the places you mentioned strapping passengers would offer the best view of the ocean.
We realize the position would have to be under the plane, but is it better under a wing or under the actual fuselage. Perhaps you can clear this up for us since our trip is scheduled for late May. We have already purchased our first class tickets, but don’t let that bother you since you are so good at overbooking, we are prepared to volunteer for the strapping. We have crash suits and helmets so no worries there! Do we need to bring our oxygen tanks or are those furnished?
Aloha!
Ashley and Fred Ashbanger
This is hilllllarious!
The friendly skies are on the outside!
Can this be true? I find it very hard to believe that the passenger could survive the temperature on the roof.
Love it…
Lol!!?
Absurd
That is ridiculously funny.
United has had terrible press lately! I don’t fly often, but when I do, I will not fly United under any circumstances! I can’t believe they strapped a passenger to the top of the plane! Why don’t they strap one of the flight attendants or United workers to the top of a plane so they can see first-hand what it’s like!!
Too bad Western Airlines is not around anymore. They used to seat passengers outside in front of the tail section and serve them champagne.
Godard and his airline should be in jail. On the wings,on the under belly.!!! What ignorance and what arrogance. He is pathological and a killer with no remorse. 50 dollars compensation?We have become lab rats to the 1%. I will never fly United again or its affiliates. I prefer the bus at least you are with real people.or a slow boat to whever
LOL! now that made me laugh!
Its nice to know that United uses a strap on.
Oh so love this! Nothing says humor like sarcasm!
lmfao
Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! THAT is funny !!!!!!
Hahaha! ?
Hi, are you guys into the Circus business or some sort of entertainment. Is that an appropriate excuse for over booking? Can the CEO of your Airline perform in one of your antics of being strapped onto a plane. Let us check him after a flight. Good luck.
Just do not use this airline
Surely, this cannot be true. I cannot believe any airline would go this far to correct what would have been deliberate overselling of seats on any flight.
United Airlines is out of their freaking minds. How would they like to be strapped to the exterior of the plane.There is no way I would allow them to do that to me. They would be looking at a big ass law suit. People need to boycott United Airlines. Hit them where it really hurts, in their pockets. Maybe then they will change the way they do things.
Do you charge extra for your out of the box humor?
Best article so far! Special mention to “removing passengers mid-flight”! lol
If you have so many passengers on a flight, invest some of your profit money into getting more airplanes, so this doesn’t happen again!
$50.00 wouldn’t even touch an apology. I would never get on one of their flights. There certainly would be other options.
You better change your Slogan from FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES TO some thing else.!!!!
april fools!
Haha very funny, anyone out there will die above 25000 feet of oxygen starvation and freeze to death as the temperature is -60c at 40.000 feet where this plane will Cruze for 6-9 hours!
This is hilarious!
In the event of a plane crash what is the passenger strapped to the outside of a plane supposed to do? I believe the airlines are opening themselves up for lawsuits!
Bullshit!! People can’t breathe that high up!!
That’s what he gets for flying Unified Airlines
Forgive me but that man must be 4
mts tall. There’s no other way for him to fly!!
This is so Fabulously Funny. Thank U so Much for Your Humor, in light of a very Unethical situation ???
Tee hee hee ?
haha! Love it!
Reminder, I will never fly United ever there so UN professional, I have travelled all over the world never experienced anything lie this….gee only in America
I would not be surprised if they did!!!
Only $50. It should have been another full price ticket to anywhere he wanted to go
or more. I can’t imagine how that passenger had to feel & how embarrassing he felt
to be treated like that dragging him out for everyone to see like some criminal or animal.
And they only offer him $50.
SOMEBODYS ALWAYS GOT TO BIYCH ABOUT SOMETHING — ITS NOT LIKE THEY THREW HIM OF OR DELAYED HIM -…… BITCH BITCH BITCH NEVER SATISFIED ! LAUGHING MY ASS OFF ROLLING ON FLOOR PISSING IN MY PANTS …….
Just so ya know this post got posted everywhere on facebook the airlines can apologise all they want but it goes to show that airlines will do whatever they want and more people see that they won’t want to fly on your airlines
Wouldn’t work for me..I’m a side-sleeper..
Wouldn’t the lack of oxygen kill ?
What the SHOULD do is let one of the extra people FLY the plane. This way the pilot will take a break and have to deal with this shit… 😉
It’s right in the fine print people, WTF do you expect? Whiners.
OMG, this is hilarious. Loooooove the part about the mandatory catheters.
Love reading everyone’s comments.. I’m just worried about the one’s who might actually believe this..
O M G I can’t believe the people taking this seriously!!! Too funny!!