Comedian Does Full Set With Ukulele To Horrified Audience

Chicago, IL — In a dimly lit backroom of a comedy club, self proclaimed “experimental comedian”, Danielle Barnes, did a full comedy set with a ukulele to a mortified audience. Apparently the novelty was too much for many of them to take. “I tried to leave halfway through—but she was eye balling me the whole time.” said an audience member. Another audience member reacted similarly, “I thought about pulling the fire alarm at one point—but instead I gripped my chair for dear life and took it like a man.”

Ms. Barnes began her comedy career back in 2009 where she accrued mild success with her one-woman Pirate Musical, YO-HO YO-HO: A Spinster’s Life For Me. Unfortunately for Ms. Barnes, the musical’s success was short lived and appears to have set her down a path of utilizing various novelties that have devastated audiences throughout Chicago.

“I tried to leave halfway through—but she was eye balling me the whole time.”

“Two months ago she devoted her whole act to reading out various restaurant menus,” says local club owner Stan Epstein. “The audience wasn’t fully unaware of what was actually happening until it was over, but what happened tonight was truly frightening—when things like this happen, we all lose.” Other clubs across the Chicago area have a strict policy when it comes to musical acts let alone ones that solely utilize the ukulele. Various sources have confirmed the comedian’s banning at over a dozen comedy locations.

One of the angrier audience members had parting words for the self-proclaimed comedian. “I can’t un-see what just happened. I am forever changed for the worse. I like music and I like comedy—but never together. You have single handedly ruined comedy for me. ”