MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Examining the after effects of life’s permanent departure, a study released this Monday confirmed that the majority of dead people wished they had not. “Our analysis has determined that a staggering 9 out of 10 deceased individuals ranging from young to old and rich to poor had experienced a longing to continue existing,” said study co-author Tristan Smith, adding that the act of living was viewed as way more of a positive than previously thought. He continued, “Our data shows us that not only is death looked upon as a negative, but also that not dying is your best bet for retaining life.”
“I would highly recommend not dying.”
The overwhelming data has scientists tripping over their feet as they quickly try to help spread the word. “Please, whatever you do—don’t die. If you know someone that may be dying—tell them to not,” yelled a scientist from a street corner. When asked the kind of advice they would give to someone possibly near death’s door, one of the scientists responded, “I would highly recommend not dying.”
STUDY: 9 Out Of 10 Dead People Wish They Had Not added by Ben Dungan on
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I could not stop laughing! That is all!
Who would have thought!?!!?!!