5-Year-Old Can’t Make Up His God Damn Mind About Which Goat to Pet

Gary, IN — It was a day of tough decisions at the local petting zoo Dutch Creek Animal Park. Especially for little Bobby Mitchell Jr. who couldn’t make up his God damn mind when deciding which goat to pet. Bobby often takes his time when faced with such incredibly mundane decisions. “He pulls this shit all the time,” said his dad Bobby Senior. “It took him forty-five minutes to pick out a juice box on the car ride over.”

“He pulls this shit all the time.”

It shouldn’t have been a tough choice at all, there were a total of two goats at the petting zoo that day and they were both black.The goats even had identical splotch marks so they were essentially twins. After about three minutes of indecision and picking his nose, Bobby ran off and started chasing after a rogue chicken that broke out of the coop. The chicken then proceeded to run circles around Bobby causing him to get dizzy and fall over. Bobby then crapped his pants on the car ride home and told the same joke thirty-two times without deviating from it at all.