Trump Appoints KKK In Charge of Adopt-A-Highway Program

BIRMINGHAM, AL — Mile Marker 283 has never been in better shape thanks to our good friends at the Ku Klux Klan. “I got one hell of a crew here,” said local Grand Wizard David Harris. His group is well organized and can be ready at a moment’s notice. They are extremely passionate and always see a job through to the end. Donald Trump weighed in on his new appointment saying, “These are great guys, some of the best. You won’t believe how good these guys are.”

“These are great guys, some of the best. You won’t believe how good these guys are.”

The Grand Wizard was extremely pleased with his crew’s performance today. “My boys never leave a trace, they even had a late night last night. And still provided a service to their community.” A few cyclists zipped by and threw a McDonald’s cup on the side of the road. The Grand Wizard was not impressed by this, “some people” he murmured. Then Grand Wizard Harris let loose a whistle for the ages as three men on horseback came dashing out of the woods and took off after the bikers. The Grand Wizard assured me they were just gonna give the cyclists a little taste of “their brand of justice.”

“We run a pretty tight members-only club.”

“This group has a lot of experience on horseback,” said Harris. “We run a pretty tight members-only club. Let’s just say riding around on horses and picking up trash comes natural to me and my boys.” The Grand Master himself just traded in his 1984 Chevy Tahoe for a 2016 Toyota Prius. “This baby gets 44 miles to the gallon, the back seats fold down, and they never hear me coming.”