Outrage As Sony Set To Reboot Steel Magnolias Starring All-Male Cast

Hollywood — Defending itself against an incessant onslaught of criticism for it’s latest move, head of Sony’s Reboot Division, Todd Sternberg, read aloud a statement to the press, “Despite the negativity and protest from hardcore fans of the original film, the reboot of Steel Magnolias is happening. We believe the film is ready for a new generation—a generation that is all-male.”

News of the reboot comes dangerously close to Sony’s most recent and controversial revival of the 1984 classic, Ghostbusters. “I want my kids to know the same characters that I grew up with, but I also want boys all over the world to know that Steel Magnolias isn’t just for girls,” said Sternberg with tears in his eyes.

“You expect us to believe that Paul Rudd will be able to pull off the same kind of sardonic wit that Shirley MacLaine gave to Louisa “Ouiser” Boudreaux in the original? “

The vitriolic comments from the internet appear to be aimed solely at the all-male cast. One angry fan tweeted, “You expect us to believe that Paul Rudd will be able to pull off the same kind of sardonic wit that Shirley MacLaine gave to Louisa “Ouiser” Boudreaux in the original?”  Another angry fan tweeted “More like STEEL SAUSAGE PARTY, no thanks!”

James Franco taking over what we assume to be the role of Shelby had this to say about the backlash, “I don’t pay attention to any of that kind of stuff.  I grew up on Steel Magnolias just like everybody else and this is an absolute honor.  The movie’s gonna’ be amazing—I can promise you that.”  While it seems that angry devoted fans all over the internet will continue to protest, it appears that the men of Steel Magnolias are more than willing to prove them wrong.