PITTSBURGH, PA — Writhing in pain from hours of torture and regular beatings, Walter Hendrix, 68, mustered up few words in front of the media. “Kill…me,” said Hendrix. The NFL has been on the hunt since this past Sunday, after discovering that someone had recorded one of their football games without approval. “This is what happens when you don’t get the express written consent of the NFL!,” yelled Roger Goodell during the press conference.
“This is what happens when you don’t get the express written consent of the NFL!”
Mr. Goodell, a harsh critic of anyone that opposes him screamed, “You think I’m fuckin around?!” Mr Goodell finished the interview saying, “Let this serve as a warning to all. This is what happens when you fuck with the NFL!” as he rolled up his sleeves producing a large bowie knife. He then proceeded to carve the NFL logo deep into Mr. Hendrix’s forehead meant to serve as a lasting reminder of his crimes.