Cleveland, OH — Struggling to keep his eyes open during yet another day of deliberations, Juror #7 awoke from his bi-daily nap only to realize he is still at Jury Duty. “Uhhh…yeah, guilty. Sure, that works,” said Juror #7 upon waking. When asked by the jury foreman which counts of the crime he was voting guilty on, he replied, “Ummm…All of them?”
“Uhhh…yeah, guilty. Sure, that works.”
After the coming back with a verdict in record time, the presiding judge in the case ordered the jury to deliberate a while longer, telling them that “A mans life is in your hands.” This new turn of events forced the already put-out jurors to kill more time by wadding up the evidence papers provided and creating a makeshift basketball game using wastebaskets within the room.
Later when the same verdict was handed to the judge, Juror #7 seemed overly put-out in discovering he had to stay for the verdict to be read. “Fucking bullshit,” he muttered under his breath. While the life of an actual human being hangs in the balance, the real crime appears to be keeping the jurors from enjoying life.