Philadelphia, PA — As the final day of the Democratic National Convention commences, many rumors were spread regarding surprise guest speakers. Just when it seemed that the hopes of many would be squashed, the audience exploded into feverish applause as a drone took to the stage to endorse Hillary Clinton for President. Many of the spectators were seen crying tears of joy as the speech began.
“We need someone that will carry out the same policies, we need someone that wants to bomb more shit, we need…Hillary Clinton”
“There’s a lot of people out there struggling to make ends meet, only working part time jobs. Well, let me tell you, I get it. Eight years ago, I was only working two—maybe three days a week. Since the Obama Administration I was put back to work, working 7 days a week bombing the hell out of anything and everything. That’s why we need someone that will carry out the same policies, we need someone that wants to bomb more shit, we need…Hillary Clinton,” said the drone as the crowd erupted in wild cheers.
The rousing speech sparked chanting from the crowd, “Bomb More Shit! Bomb More Shit!,” which was heard for a solid 10 minutes after the drone exited the stage. Long time employer and dear friend President Obama was later seen tearfully hugging the drone while reportedly saying, “Papa loves you. Papa loves you so much.”