San Francisco, CA — Making everyone around him extremely uncomfortable, Brian Stroman, only 3 months on the job sits in the middle of a busy workplace meeting quietly sobbing. “Oh Christ, he’s doing it again,” replied his fellow co-worker, Shannon Lewis. When asked about the frequency she replied, “It seems like it’s every other day now. Nobody can stand to look at him, it’s too embarrassing.”
Scientists have long been studying the effects of crying in public. While many have speculated about what the results might become, it’s only now that the data has finally come through proving that crying in public is seen as a major sign of weakness. “First, we studied people crying in the privacy of their homes, and then we studied people crying in public and found the difference to be astonishing,” said lead scientist Stanley Garfield. “Oddly enough, those that cried among the public were thought of as weak and easy targets for ridicule,” added Garfield.
“When I see him crying I get this overwhelming sense that I’m better than him, and that if I had to fight him—I could take him.”
“Everyday I come to work hoping I don’t have to see his weak-ass crying again,” says current intern Josh Huffman. “I’m not quite sure what it is, but when I see him crying I get this overwhelming sense that I’m better than him, and that if I had to fight him—I could take him.” At long last, it appears that people like Brian finally have scientific proof to back up their standing among the fellow public.