Government Approves Five Songs You Can’t Sit Down During

Government Approves Five Songs You Can’t Sit Down During

Washington D.C. — A vote was completed on capital hill this morning at 9AM central time to approve five songs that United States citizens are legally not allow to sit down during.  Given the recent backlash that Colin Kaepernick has received, the government has taken it upon themselves to clear up any confusion and has created a […]

White House Credit Card Declined At State Dinner

White House Credit Card Declined At State Dinner

Washington, D.C. — In what was supposed to be a grand event quickly turned into quite an embarrassing moment for the Obama Administration as The White House’s credit card was declined at the State Dinner. The humiliating event happened just moments after President Obama had been busy entertaining The British Royal Family.  Attendees could hear the […]

ISIS Claims Fart That Devastated Local Family

ISIS Claims Fart That Devastated Local Family

Nashville, TN — “A fart felt around the world” is what people are calling it. The flatulence eviscerated the Johnson family’s sense of wonderment and enjoyment leaving the once joyful family with a bad taste in their mouth. As the family lays in shock from last nights events, many questions remain about what exactly happened […]

Orange Lives Matter Disrupt Clinton Rally

Orange Lives Matter Disrupt Clinton Rally

  Washington, D.C. — A small group of Orange Lives Matter activists interrupted Hillary Clinton yesterday in Washington during one of her campaign rallies. “We demand an apology to all the Orange people out there,” yelled one of the protestors. “Orange people continue to be marginalized and ridiculed!” yelled one of the protestors. “Fuck all y’all! […]

Transgender Dog Confused Which Lawn It Can Poop On

Transgender Dog Confused Which Lawn It Can Poop On

Franklin, TN — 4 year old transgender Golden Retriever, Mickey, has lived a pretty normal life—until recently. Owner, Dan Heartfield, spoke about the confusion in detail explaining “Mickey has always shit on Ms. Henderson’s lawn next door, but now with new bathroom laws in place we’re not sure what to do.” “Pee-pee’s and poo-poo’s are […]

Biden Shouts Correct Techniques During Tense Game At Local Arcade

Biden Shouts Correct Techniques During Tense Game At Local Arcade

Scranton, PA — Eluding to what could happen if the correct button combination wasn’t used, Joe Biden stood amped up as he shouted at a young adolescent boy playing what was said to be a tense gaming session at the local arcade. Biden was claimed to have shouted, “No! Flick the joystick, don’t tap it. Okay, […]