Ed Asner Sets Unrealistic Standard Of Beauty For Men

Ed Asner Sets Unrealistic Standard Of Beauty For Men

Los Angeles — Coasting around the Hollywood like the cats-pajamas, Ed Asner proudly flaunts his devilishly good looks to those around him.  For years, rumors have swirled that Asner’s larger-than-life ears and nose are a product of plastic surgery.  A hollywood insider close to Mr. Asner claims “His nose and ears are 100% real. I promise […]

No Way!: Sienna Miller Drives A Toyota Sienna

No Way!:  Sienna Miller Drives A Toyota Sienna

Los Angeles, CA — For years we have all thought it and now we are happy to confirm that Sienna Miller actually drives a Toyota Sienna minivan.  “It’s my pride and joy,” said Miller.  “When I’m not busy working on a movie or I’m half-way across the world modeling, I like to take this baby out for […]

Chris Brown Opens New Restaurant: Knuckle Sandwiches

Chris Brown Opens New Restaurant: Knuckle Sandwiches

Los Angeles, CA — Shaking with excitement, Chris Brown unveiled his new project, a restaurant called Knuckle Sandwiches.  We spoke with Chris about his latest venture, “This place has been a dream of mine and it’s finally come true. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and Knuckle Sandwiches is my salvation.  You see, I’ve […]

Madea And Tyler Perry Show Up At Same Event

Madea And Tyler Perry Show Up At Same Event

Los Angeles, CA — Shock and awe on the red carpet as Tyler Perry and Madea showed up at the same event in Hollywood, CA last night. While Perry seemed stunned, Madea seemed unfazed by the meeting. “I can’t believe it. This is amazing,” said one of the attendees. “I’m not sure whose autograph I […]

Comedian Does Full Set With Ukulele To Horrified Audience

Comedian Does Full Set With Ukulele To Horrified Audience

Chicago, IL — In a dimly lit backroom of a comedy club, self proclaimed “experimental comedian”, Danielle Barnes, did a full comedy set with a ukulele to a mortified audience. Apparently the novelty was too much for many of them to take. “I tried to leave halfway through—but she was eye balling me the whole […]

Outrage As Sony Set To Reboot Steel Magnolias Starring All-Male Cast

Outrage As Sony Set To Reboot Steel Magnolias Starring All-Male Cast

Hollywood — Defending itself against an incessant onslaught of criticism for it’s latest move, head of Sony’s Reboot Division, Todd Sternberg, read aloud a statement to the press, “Despite the negativity and protest from hardcore fans of the original film, the reboot of Steel Magnolias is happening. We believe the film is ready for a new generation—a generation that […]

Cosby Sweater Taken Down In Police Sting Operation

Cosby Sweater Taken Down In Police Sting Operation

New York City — For the past two weeks the New York City Police have received various reports of a Cosby Sweater hanging around various drugs store on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.  The sightings had become so frequent that people soon took notice.  We spoke to local CVS manager Brent Stevens about the sightings, […]