Airline Apologizes For Strapping Man To Roof Of Plane Due To Oversold Flight

Airline Apologizes For Strapping Man To Roof Of Plane Due To Oversold Flight

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY — Unified Airlines attempted an apology for what seems to be just another example of the airlines trying to correct an oversold flight as a passenger was forcibly removed from his seat and strapped to the roof of the plane for the duration of the flight.  “We reserve the right to strap any of our passengers to the wings, underbelly, or roof of the plane under any given circumstance. Nevertheless, we are sorry,” said Unified Airlines Vice President Mike Gottard, adding that the passenger was strapped on safely and securely.  

“We reserve the right to strap any of our passengers to the wings, underbelly, or roof of the plane under any circumstance. Nevertheless, we are sorry,”

Unified Airlines is no stranger to controversy.  Just last year they came under fire for various wrong doings such as: randomly taking away seat belts, removing passengers mid-flight, and forcing passengers to use mandatory catheters in lieu of bathrooms.  “While we are not perfect, we strive to be.  That is why we are issuing a $50 voucher to the passenger affected,” said Gottard proudly.  While the airline is not expected to strap anyone other passengers to a plane’s exterior anytime soon, it’s certainly a possibility.

 

90 Responses to "Airline Apologizes For Strapping Man To Roof Of Plane Due To Oversold Flight"

  1. Johnboy Walnut   April 13, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    I fly Unified Airlines every chance I get. The service is second to none and the views are out of this world!

    Reply
  2. Joseph.C.Peřeira   April 14, 2017 at 1:35 am

    RIP out all seats. Passengers seated on floor. Or prone and stack them to ceiling. Passengers are sheep these days. Who can only whip out their phones.

    Reply
  3. kelly Gates   April 14, 2017 at 6:36 am

    It wasn’t ‘United’ was it hehe

    Reply
  4. Eddie Mah   April 14, 2017 at 9:03 am

    The best satire I have ever read. Sadly too close to reality!

    Reply
  5. D. Anderson   April 14, 2017 at 9:26 am

    Bringing new meaning to “Get ON the plane”

    Reply
  6. florence Sherbahn   April 14, 2017 at 9:27 am

    What a joke. Guess you would do anything for publicity. I hope people really don’t believe this is impossible in many ways.

    Reply
  7. Scott   April 14, 2017 at 9:55 am

    I can empathize. They made me sit in a seat where the guy in front of me would crush my legs.

    Reply
  8. Gary V   April 14, 2017 at 10:06 am

    It first I thought this was just a joke, but after I had the photo blown up at the U of Minnesota , we believe the picture and the photo is real, with just the airlines name air brushed out.

    Reply
  9. Terry   April 14, 2017 at 11:02 am

    This outside delivery should be reserved for women having hot flashes as the temperature will be just right for them with added feature of getting a sun tan at the same time.

    Reply
  10. Nick   April 14, 2017 at 11:09 am

    Fly Delta, Which means Don’t Even Let Them Aboard. .!

    Reply
  11. sharon robertson   April 14, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    Jees sometimes I don’t know whether its a joke or the truth.. lol..

    Reply
  12. Darwin   April 14, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    Was he able to get drinks up there?

    Reply
  13. C Stephen Baldwin   April 14, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    And you thought ROMNEY was heartless…..

    Reply
  14. Craig Denison   April 14, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    This is past hilarious, right down to the fictional airline name! But…if you believed in obummer, or that tv wrestling is real, then you can take this and run with it!

    Reply
  15. Suzanne   April 14, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    This has to be a belated April Fool’s joke!

    Reply
  16. Ron   April 14, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    is this first class

    Reply
  17. Bill Prescott   April 14, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    They could have offered him “on flight” peanuts”.

    Reply
  18. Larry Pierce   April 14, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Oh yes, we’re sorry that your luggage was lost.

    Reply
  19. JT   April 14, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    That is stupid u should never do that to anybody. Unified airlines should b sued for that

    Reply
  20. Jo   April 14, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    Looks like the problem was solved. I mean, after all, Louisville is such hot destination.

    Reply
  21. JohnHansen   April 14, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    Brilliant!! I wonder..if they’re NOT listening..

    Reply
  22. gene   April 14, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    Yeah right! Lol!

    Reply
  23. Jean Lackey   April 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    $$50.00 Are you kidding me ? I would be flying FREE whenever I boarded one of their flights until I never flew with them again. That is outrageous.

    Reply
  24. Slyone   April 14, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    In fact United Air Lines has a whole, henceforth undermentioned Bondage Class, where for a resonable fee they will bundle you up in the cargo hold complete with complimentary ball-gag and leg restraints.

    Reply
  25. Patti   April 14, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    OMG- you are brilliant!

    Reply
  26. bejeebus   April 14, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    Outrageous! Did he get a free meal?

    Reply
  27. Marty Power   April 14, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    For the record, airlines only strap passengers to the wings when there is an even number of overbookings. This is, of course, to maintain weight balance.

    Reply
  28. BRENDA BOSSE   April 14, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    TOOOO DARNN FUNNY

    Reply
  29. Hope Jentis   April 14, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    lmao

    Reply
  30. Willie-in-Chch   April 14, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    next thing you know, they will be making use of the spare engine pylon to put a couple of spare seats on.
    Becasue of the exposure to the wind and possibly rain, I would expect at least $75 compensation !

    Reply
  31. Julie Them   April 14, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    Very funny??????

    Reply
  32. Edwin Clements   April 14, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    I hope they gave him an oxygen mask if they were flying at an altitude that he would have had trouble breathing in. But I guess they would have charged him extra for that.

    Reply
  33. Todd   April 14, 2017 at 7:41 pm

    I rather have taken the $800 in cash, but then again I bet he had some wonderful views.

    Reply
  34. JUDITH L DEMARCO   April 14, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    Oh give me a break…..!!!!!!

    Reply
  35. Jane   April 14, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    No you didn’t! LMAO

    Reply
  36. Terrence Yang   April 14, 2017 at 8:15 pm

    Romney Air. Not just for dogs.

    Reply
  37. Donna   April 14, 2017 at 8:38 pm

    Lmao what a great spoof.

    Reply
  38. PAM   April 14, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    Did they at least dress the passenger in warm clothes? It can get pretty cold at 40,000 ft!!!!! I know because I get cold up there and I’m inside the plane!!!!
    I know I won’t be flying Unified Airlines!!!!!

    Reply
  39. Nick   April 14, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    That’s disgusting that they only gave me a $50 voucher!

    Reply
  40. cynthia keturah lee   April 14, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    Oh i smell lawsuit

    Reply
  41. Joanne   April 14, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    BWAHAHAHA!! 😀

    Reply
  42. Thomas Fox   April 14, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    They should be fined heavily:They charge enough for tickets! It seems. Passengers are losing more and more rights! If I was on the regulations BD. For every major screw up like this I would make them ground all flights for a day! These are people not animals!

    Reply
  43. Catherine Lewis   April 14, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading your most informative news article and have a question. My husband and I are planning a trip to Hawaii in May and we are wondering which one of the places you mentioned strapping passengers would offer the best view of the ocean.

    We realize the position would have to be under the plane, but is it better under a wing or under the actual fuselage. Perhaps you can clear this up for us since our trip is scheduled for late May. We have already purchased our first class tickets, but don’t let that bother you since you are so good at overbooking, we are prepared to volunteer for the strapping. We have crash suits and helmets so no worries there! Do we need to bring our oxygen tanks or are those furnished?

    Aloha!

    Ashley and Fred Ashbanger

    Reply
  44. Randi   April 14, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    This is hilllllarious!

    Reply
  45. Cyrus Lesser   April 15, 2017 at 1:22 am

    The friendly skies are on the outside!

    Reply
  46. Rosemary Hislop   April 15, 2017 at 3:05 am

    Can this be true? I find it very hard to believe that the passenger could survive the temperature on the roof.

    Reply
  47. Elsa   April 15, 2017 at 4:12 am

    Love it…

    Reply
  48. Jerilyn   April 15, 2017 at 4:37 am

    Lol!!?

    Reply
  49. Chandrra   April 15, 2017 at 4:56 am

    Absurd

    Reply
  50. Michaelle   April 15, 2017 at 5:10 am

    That is ridiculously funny.

    Reply
  51. Judi Hinman   April 15, 2017 at 5:30 am

    United has had terrible press lately! I don’t fly often, but when I do, I will not fly United under any circumstances! I can’t believe they strapped a passenger to the top of the plane! Why don’t they strap one of the flight attendants or United workers to the top of a plane so they can see first-hand what it’s like!!

    Reply
  52. hartman   April 15, 2017 at 5:43 am

    Too bad Western Airlines is not around anymore. They used to seat passengers outside in front of the tail section and serve them champagne.

    Reply
  53. paul duchastel md   April 15, 2017 at 5:45 am

    Godard and his airline should be in jail. On the wings,on the under belly.!!! What ignorance and what arrogance. He is pathological and a killer with no remorse. 50 dollars compensation?We have become lab rats to the 1%. I will never fly United again or its affiliates. I prefer the bus at least you are with real people.or a slow boat to whever

    Reply
  54. Nell Rose   April 15, 2017 at 6:08 am

    LOL! now that made me laugh!

    Reply
  55. fred stooge   April 15, 2017 at 6:31 am

    Its nice to know that United uses a strap on.

    Reply
  56. Rebecca   April 15, 2017 at 7:14 am

    Oh so love this! Nothing says humor like sarcasm!

    Reply
  57. Tony   April 15, 2017 at 7:15 am

    lmfao

    Reply
  58. sue vause   April 15, 2017 at 7:30 am

    Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! THAT is funny !!!!!!

    Reply
  59. Diana Fox   April 15, 2017 at 7:34 am

    Hahaha! ?

    Reply
  60. Richard Rozario   April 15, 2017 at 8:05 am

    Hi, are you guys into the Circus business or some sort of entertainment. Is that an appropriate excuse for over booking? Can the CEO of your Airline perform in one of your antics of being strapped onto a plane. Let us check him after a flight. Good luck.

    Reply
  61. Edith   April 15, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Just do not use this airline

    Reply
  62. Mary Mc Veagh   April 15, 2017 at 8:36 am

    Surely, this cannot be true. I cannot believe any airline would go this far to correct what would have been deliberate overselling of seats on any flight.

    Reply
  63. Beverly Thomas   April 15, 2017 at 8:41 am

    United Airlines is out of their freaking minds. How would they like to be strapped to the exterior of the plane.There is no way I would allow them to do that to me. They would be looking at a big ass law suit. People need to boycott United Airlines. Hit them where it really hurts, in their pockets. Maybe then they will change the way they do things.

    Reply
  64. Jeanie   April 15, 2017 at 8:44 am

    Do you charge extra for your out of the box humor?

    Reply
  65. Martina Bolducci   April 15, 2017 at 8:47 am

    Best article so far! Special mention to “removing passengers mid-flight”! lol

    Reply
  66. Angie Freshwater   April 15, 2017 at 9:01 am

    If you have so many passengers on a flight, invest some of your profit money into getting more airplanes, so this doesn’t happen again!

    Reply
  67. Gloria Myers   April 15, 2017 at 9:33 am

    $50.00 wouldn’t even touch an apology. I would never get on one of their flights. There certainly would be other options.

    Reply
  68. Ron Sandberg   April 15, 2017 at 9:49 am

    You better change your Slogan from FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES TO some thing else.!!!!

    Reply
  69. debra   April 15, 2017 at 9:52 am

    april fools!

    Reply
  70. Jens   April 15, 2017 at 9:58 am

    Haha very funny, anyone out there will die above 25000 feet of oxygen starvation and freeze to death as the temperature is -60c at 40.000 feet where this plane will Cruze for 6-9 hours!

    Reply
  71. Pat Milam   April 15, 2017 at 10:31 am

    This is hilarious!

    Reply
  72. Kathleen Weber   April 15, 2017 at 10:36 am

    In the event of a plane crash what is the passenger strapped to the outside of a plane supposed to do? I believe the airlines are opening themselves up for lawsuits!

    Reply
  73. Dannim68   April 15, 2017 at 10:50 am

    Bullshit!! People can’t breathe that high up!!

    Reply
  74. Wild Billy   April 15, 2017 at 11:32 am

    That’s what he gets for flying Unified Airlines

    Reply
  75. Arthur   April 15, 2017 at 11:32 am

    Forgive me but that man must be 4
    mts tall. There’s no other way for him to fly!!

    Reply
  76. Soraya   April 15, 2017 at 11:36 am

    This is so Fabulously Funny. Thank U so Much for Your Humor, in light of a very Unethical situation ???

    Reply
  77. Bob Paine   April 15, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    Tee hee hee ?

    Reply
  78. Grama   April 15, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    haha! Love it!

    Reply
  79. Pam   April 15, 2017 at 12:35 pm

    Reminder, I will never fly United ever there so UN professional, I have travelled all over the world never experienced anything lie this….gee only in America

    Reply
  80. Patricia   April 15, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    I would not be surprised if they did!!!

    Reply
  81. Laverne   April 15, 2017 at 12:39 pm

    Only $50. It should have been another full price ticket to anywhere he wanted to go
    or more. I can’t imagine how that passenger had to feel & how embarrassing he felt
    to be treated like that dragging him out for everyone to see like some criminal or animal.
    And they only offer him $50.

    Reply
  82. Bill   April 15, 2017 at 12:40 pm

    SOMEBODYS ALWAYS GOT TO BIYCH ABOUT SOMETHING — ITS NOT LIKE THEY THREW HIM OF OR DELAYED HIM -…… BITCH BITCH BITCH NEVER SATISFIED ! LAUGHING MY ASS OFF ROLLING ON FLOOR PISSING IN MY PANTS …….

    Reply
  83. George   April 15, 2017 at 12:51 pm

    Just so ya know this post got posted everywhere on facebook the airlines can apologise all they want but it goes to show that airlines will do whatever they want and more people see that they won’t want to fly on your airlines

    Reply
  84. Bobby Marken   April 15, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    Wouldn’t work for me..I’m a side-sleeper..

    Reply
  85. Linda ward   April 15, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    Wouldn’t the lack of oxygen kill ?

    Reply
  86. Bud Long   April 15, 2017 at 1:06 pm

    What the SHOULD do is let one of the extra people FLY the plane. This way the pilot will take a break and have to deal with this shit… 😉

    Reply
  87. John Ashman   April 15, 2017 at 1:19 pm

    It’s right in the fine print people, WTF do you expect? Whiners.

    Reply
  88. Susy Mayberry   April 15, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    OMG, this is hilarious. Loooooove the part about the mandatory catheters.

    Reply
  89. Elna   April 25, 2017 at 5:01 am

    Love reading everyone’s comments.. I’m just worried about the one’s who might actually believe this..

    Reply
  90. Robin   April 25, 2017 at 2:56 pm

    O M G I can’t believe the people taking this seriously!!! Too funny!!

    Reply

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